I just got back from Florida. It was nice, minus the tropical storm that hit Ft. Lauderdale while we were there. We went to the beach, Lion Country Safari, a casino, and a few other places.
The beach was great. We had 10 foot waves, so I got to do some body-boarding. The kids asked me to take them out to the deeper waters, but the waves were too much for them. They got scared (especially Riene,) so I took them back in to shore. All the same, they had a blast playing in the surf and building sand castles with their grandmother and great-grandmother. The body-boarding was pretty awesome - I caught one wave from about 100 yards out that slammed me to the bottom and tumbled me 9 or 10 times before washing me up on the beach in what seemed like only a few seconds.
Lion Country Safari was ok. It was miserably hot, so all the animals were in hiding. The lions were hiding in their concrete dens. The white rhinos were hiding under their sheds. The various species of antelope, wild mules, and other such animals were all hiding under trees. Plus, there was some really annoying driver in a silver Jeep Liberty that kept stopping for literally no reason in the middle of the road, looking at grass. I tricked him pretty well though - I passed him, then stopped where there was nothing, pretended to see something and point. So naturally, he stopped and sat there for a good 15 minutes trying to figure out what I had "seen."
LCS has some kiddie rides and a water park too, so we ended up playing there for a bit afterwards. Riene and Bear had a blast on the carousel and a mock-Disney Dumbo ride. We also went up on a ferris wheel that had a pretty nice view of the park and some of the Everglades. Bear nearly kicked one of his sandals off at the top; I caught it as it was falling out of the gate.
We played in the water park area for a while. It was mostly water spraying devices, but they did have an inflatable water slide for the kids with a 10 minute line to get on. Bear got a hold of one of the water cannons in the park area and turned it on parents who were hiding in the shade and not wearing bathing suits. The panic that caused was pure hilarity.
I went to the Hard Rock Casino with my mom one of the nights we were there. Going there was fun, but it really wasn't my kind of place. It looked like the Seminole were trying to make a knock-off of Vegas on tribal lands. You had to wind your way past no less than 15 bars just to make it to the casino, and there were signs up all over the place that said "What Happens in Vegas Happens Here!" I'm assuming that's somewhat true, as there were scantily-clad females and designer shops all over the place, but I didn't spot an Elvis impersonator anywhere. The Indians should probably get right on that and the hookers if they really want to emulate Vegas. (Even if they do, I'm still most likely not going back there. Not my kind of place in the least.)
Aside from the back pain, the drive to and from Ft. Lauderdale wasn't too bad. It took me about thirteen hours to get there, and maybe nine to get back. I had to stop a lot on the way down because of back cramps and spasms. It's really not kosher to drive that far a few months after breaking vertebrae. It's just too much strain. The way back, I just slammed a lot of coffee and forced myself to keep going. The kids were asleep a third of the way and I really wanted it to be over with.
When I got home, I was greated by slashed blinds in all the front-facing windows of the house. Apparently, Furball (Maria's stupid cat that she didn't take with her when she took the tv and everything else of value out of the house) didn't like being left in the house alone for that long. It took me a good three hours to clean up the mess he made. He knocked over tables, cleared off the counter, dragged a bag of cat food through the house, puked on the carpets, and kicked cat litter all over the bathroom. What a jerk! Next time I'm leaving him outside and he can eat crickets if he's hungry.
Ahh yes, off topic here: I'm at 11% body fat! The top part of my abs are just starting to come out. I figure another 2 to 4 weeks and I'll have six pack abs. It's pretty exciting to know I've actually surpassed my original goal of 12% bodyfat and so close to my other goal of a ripped stomach. Hooray for Zoidberg!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Yum, Roasted Marshmallows!
I've been pretty busy around here the past few days. It seems like there's always so much cleaning to do and preparation for the upcoming school year. Anytime I think I'm done, more things just pop out at me.
The kids have been having fun though. They've been playing in the pool (and the sprinkler). We went to the zoo, the park, and had quite a few trips to the store. In fact, both of them were pestering me to take them to the dollar store so they could look around. Riene and Bear are both becoming skilled window-shoppers.
I got a notice from my lawyer that I'd have to get a guardian ad litem to end the insanity coming from Maria. I don't know what's going to happen with that. It makes no sense to me. Plus, I really didn't want to spend more money on this divorce. I have no choice though.
Riene's already registered for school, but I need to get Bear taken care of. He'll be going into 4k. I'm pretty sure he'll like it, he seemed really excited about being able to go. It'll give me the opportunity to go to school again, at least.
Oh yes, we roasted marshmallows yesterday while I was smoking more chicken. The kids ate five marshmallows each. They both kept jamming theirs into the ashes, so we went through quite a few more than 10 marshmallows.
The kids have been having fun though. They've been playing in the pool (and the sprinkler). We went to the zoo, the park, and had quite a few trips to the store. In fact, both of them were pestering me to take them to the dollar store so they could look around. Riene and Bear are both becoming skilled window-shoppers.
I got a notice from my lawyer that I'd have to get a guardian ad litem to end the insanity coming from Maria. I don't know what's going to happen with that. It makes no sense to me. Plus, I really didn't want to spend more money on this divorce. I have no choice though.
Riene's already registered for school, but I need to get Bear taken care of. He'll be going into 4k. I'm pretty sure he'll like it, he seemed really excited about being able to go. It'll give me the opportunity to go to school again, at least.
Oh yes, we roasted marshmallows yesterday while I was smoking more chicken. The kids ate five marshmallows each. They both kept jamming theirs into the ashes, so we went through quite a few more than 10 marshmallows.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Happy belated 4th!
I had a pretty busy weekend. On Friday, I bought fireworks. They didn't make it through the night. Next time I buy fireworks, it's going to have to be the same day I'm supposed to set them off. Otherwise, the kids go crazy until I set a few off, and I'm not one to stop lighting them up after hearing my two applaud the first few. They didn't last nearly long enough.
On the third, we went out to quite a few places. We had Taco Bell for lunch. Riene got nachos bell grande, minus tomato, and Bear got a kid's meal. The kid's meal had a pretty cool 3-d Superman standup and a 3d poster with the red-and-blue 3d glasses. Riene wasn't upset that she didn't get a toy. She was actually proud that she got a "grown up meal."
We went to walmart, again. Twice, actually - the first time the kids got to pick out toys. The second time, I wouldn't even let them look at the toys because I knew they'd pester me until I let them get toys. I give in too easily sometimes.
On Saturday night, all my neighbors were blasting off mortars. It was a pretty sweet show for the 3rd, but it didn't compare to what I got to see on the 4th. A church was doing a display in one of their member's yards (which happens to be behind my place,) and there was an accidental fire in the display area. A few thousand dollar's worth of mortars went off in about a 10-minute span. I thought it was just a bunch of drunks being dumb, but it ended up on the news. That explained pretty quickly how they were able to blast them all off at once like I saw!
On the day of the 4th, I smoked a chicken and a mega pack of hotdogs. There's still a little bit of both left. That reminds me, I need to chop up more wood because grocery day is coming soon and I'll have another 20ish pounds of chicken to smoke so I can stick to my diet.
No word on what's up with Maria, but I was assured that regardless of whether or not she gives up her rights, she's going to be paying child support until both kids turn 18 or she dies, whichever comes first.
On the third, we went out to quite a few places. We had Taco Bell for lunch. Riene got nachos bell grande, minus tomato, and Bear got a kid's meal. The kid's meal had a pretty cool 3-d Superman standup and a 3d poster with the red-and-blue 3d glasses. Riene wasn't upset that she didn't get a toy. She was actually proud that she got a "grown up meal."
We went to walmart, again. Twice, actually - the first time the kids got to pick out toys. The second time, I wouldn't even let them look at the toys because I knew they'd pester me until I let them get toys. I give in too easily sometimes.
On Saturday night, all my neighbors were blasting off mortars. It was a pretty sweet show for the 3rd, but it didn't compare to what I got to see on the 4th. A church was doing a display in one of their member's yards (which happens to be behind my place,) and there was an accidental fire in the display area. A few thousand dollar's worth of mortars went off in about a 10-minute span. I thought it was just a bunch of drunks being dumb, but it ended up on the news. That explained pretty quickly how they were able to blast them all off at once like I saw!
On the day of the 4th, I smoked a chicken and a mega pack of hotdogs. There's still a little bit of both left. That reminds me, I need to chop up more wood because grocery day is coming soon and I'll have another 20ish pounds of chicken to smoke so I can stick to my diet.
No word on what's up with Maria, but I was assured that regardless of whether or not she gives up her rights, she's going to be paying child support until both kids turn 18 or she dies, whichever comes first.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Bad News?
I got a message today from my lawyer that my ex had lost her job, and wants to give up her full parental rights so she doesn't have to worry about paying child support. This is pretty disconcerting to me for a few reasons. I'm sure that some divorcees would jump on this, but I don't like it.
My two kids are the best thing that's ever happened to me. Nothing in my life has made me happier than those two. Their moods affect my moods - when they're happy, I'm happy, when they're sad, I get sad. I just don't understand how their mother would not feel the same way, when she was the one who carried them through pregnancy and gave birth to them.
Another reason this is bad is because I need the child support. If she can't pay it or if she gives up her rights so she doesn't have to pay it, I'm going to be hard pressed to just pay the bills. Not having that money means I can't buy them toys in the way I like to, and I can't take them for ice cream, or trips to the lake and such. I really need that money to give them the childhood I wished I had.
To top that off, how am I supposed to break it to the kids? If she gives up her rights, she's definately not going to see them. What am I supposed to do then, pretend she died? You can't tell a 7 year old and a 4 year old that mommy just isn't ever coming back unless she's dead. It'll wreck their entire world view - not that what she's done already hasn't significantly injured them. Just thinking about how they'd react to it at this age makes me want to vomit. Why the @#$% do they have to go through this?
If you're reading this, I'd like to know what you're thinking. I don't want her to do this, but I don't know if I can stop it. This whole ordeal makes me sick.
My two kids are the best thing that's ever happened to me. Nothing in my life has made me happier than those two. Their moods affect my moods - when they're happy, I'm happy, when they're sad, I get sad. I just don't understand how their mother would not feel the same way, when she was the one who carried them through pregnancy and gave birth to them.
Another reason this is bad is because I need the child support. If she can't pay it or if she gives up her rights so she doesn't have to pay it, I'm going to be hard pressed to just pay the bills. Not having that money means I can't buy them toys in the way I like to, and I can't take them for ice cream, or trips to the lake and such. I really need that money to give them the childhood I wished I had.
To top that off, how am I supposed to break it to the kids? If she gives up her rights, she's definately not going to see them. What am I supposed to do then, pretend she died? You can't tell a 7 year old and a 4 year old that mommy just isn't ever coming back unless she's dead. It'll wreck their entire world view - not that what she's done already hasn't significantly injured them. Just thinking about how they'd react to it at this age makes me want to vomit. Why the @#$% do they have to go through this?
If you're reading this, I'd like to know what you're thinking. I don't want her to do this, but I don't know if I can stop it. This whole ordeal makes me sick.
Busy Days
Yesterday was pretty busy. I wasn't able to get on here to post due to that and isp problems. I'm guessing it was because of the storm - it was raining pretty hard here, and we had quite a bit of a lightning show.
Bear had an infected cut on his thumb, right next to the nail. It looked like it hurt pretty bad, but I got it cleaned up nicely. I've been washing it out with peroxide, then putting on neosporin and a bandaid. If it isn't cleared up tomorrow, I'll take him to his pediatrician.
I had to bribe him so he'd sit still and let me clean it. So, I ended up taking both kids to walmart and letting them pick out toys again. Bear got another spiderman toy, and Riene picked out a remote-controlled escalade. Bear got so excited when he saw her driving it around the kitchen floor that he wanted a turn too, but Riene didn't want to share. I had to remind her about why it's important to share. I told her about how Bear shares his candy and things with her, and how I share my computer with both of them. She came up with some examples of how people share with her on her own after that, then she was pretty willing to let Bear play with it.
I took the kids to see Toy Story 3. Bear was really good this time, he didn't run around at all during the movie. When I typically take him to a movie theater, he wants to run around and play rather than sit and watch the movie. I know he'll grow out of it more as he gets older, and when he's really interested in what's on the screen.
Today's been one of those days where the kids are moping and telling me how much they miss their mom. It makes me sad to see them like this. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do about that. I can't make her be a good mom. I can't make her be there for the kids. If she'd rather be out dating different guys and partying than being a parent, it's her choice. But I really don't understand how a woman can have kids, then just dump them and go off to find happiness. How can a mother be happy when she doesn't even see her young children? It doesn't seem possible to me.
What am I supposed to tell them to console them? I can't let her come back. I won't put myself or the kids through that again. I won't devote myself to a woman who cheats on me and attacks me. I'm too old for that. At the same time, I can't say, "Sorry guys, your mom's a skank who doesn't care about anyone but herself." How am I supposed to make them feel better? It's why I try to keep them busy, so they're not focusing on the fact that the woman who gave birth to them is so apparently unconcerned about them. I couldn't be apart from them like that; I'd chew my way through a concrete wall to get back to them if I had to. But that's just how I am.
The thing that I've noticed lately is there's a lot of really good women out there who want what she had - a guy who would not cheat, who wouldn't put her down, who does the housework, cooking, and shopping, and does a good job at those things, and who constantly did things to show her he loves her. I feel bad for these women. When a guy like me goes through what I did with a woman like my kid's mom, it's really hard for them to want to put out the effort again. When you keep kicking a dog, it's going to wince, expecting another kick every time they see feet. It's so frustrating.
I went to the gas station today so the kids could get candy, but they opted to dig through the ice cream bin rather than the candy aisle. I love the ice cream bin at the gas station. It's full of inexpensive goodies, and it's a veritable treasure trove to young kids. When I was a kid, I used to dig through and make sure that I'd tried every variety at least once - every time they got a new kind in, I had to have it.
There's an ice cream truck that comes around the neighborhood, but I don't usually let the kids get anything off of it. It's high priced, and there's just something about buying food off a truck that puts me off. It reminds me of the roach coach that used to come around when I was working at the golf course in Florida. That stuff always made me sick. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with the ice cream on the truck, but I'm definately not going to be a regular customer. Especially when a single orange creamsicle is 2.50, and I can drive to the store to pick up a 24 pack for 2 - 3 dollars. There's just no sense in buying it regularly. Sparsing it out makes it more fun when I do let them get something off it. (It's not a Good Humor truck driving around. If it was, I'd let them buy just about every time.)
I've got an appointment at the college tomorrow morning, so I have to get up early. I hope the kids don't give me any issues about going to bed tonight. The past couple nights, they've both been pretty bad about it. I put them in bed, they're quiet for about 10 minutes, then they're jumping on the beds and climbing the walls (literally) like Peter Parker post-spider bite. I explained the situation to them (my parenting style is about instruction, not discipline - discipline only carries over so far as you have a threat hanging over your head, while learning carries on permanently through self-motivation), so hopefully they'll be copacetic.
Bear had an infected cut on his thumb, right next to the nail. It looked like it hurt pretty bad, but I got it cleaned up nicely. I've been washing it out with peroxide, then putting on neosporin and a bandaid. If it isn't cleared up tomorrow, I'll take him to his pediatrician.
I had to bribe him so he'd sit still and let me clean it. So, I ended up taking both kids to walmart and letting them pick out toys again. Bear got another spiderman toy, and Riene picked out a remote-controlled escalade. Bear got so excited when he saw her driving it around the kitchen floor that he wanted a turn too, but Riene didn't want to share. I had to remind her about why it's important to share. I told her about how Bear shares his candy and things with her, and how I share my computer with both of them. She came up with some examples of how people share with her on her own after that, then she was pretty willing to let Bear play with it.
I took the kids to see Toy Story 3. Bear was really good this time, he didn't run around at all during the movie. When I typically take him to a movie theater, he wants to run around and play rather than sit and watch the movie. I know he'll grow out of it more as he gets older, and when he's really interested in what's on the screen.
Today's been one of those days where the kids are moping and telling me how much they miss their mom. It makes me sad to see them like this. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do about that. I can't make her be a good mom. I can't make her be there for the kids. If she'd rather be out dating different guys and partying than being a parent, it's her choice. But I really don't understand how a woman can have kids, then just dump them and go off to find happiness. How can a mother be happy when she doesn't even see her young children? It doesn't seem possible to me.
What am I supposed to tell them to console them? I can't let her come back. I won't put myself or the kids through that again. I won't devote myself to a woman who cheats on me and attacks me. I'm too old for that. At the same time, I can't say, "Sorry guys, your mom's a skank who doesn't care about anyone but herself." How am I supposed to make them feel better? It's why I try to keep them busy, so they're not focusing on the fact that the woman who gave birth to them is so apparently unconcerned about them. I couldn't be apart from them like that; I'd chew my way through a concrete wall to get back to them if I had to. But that's just how I am.
The thing that I've noticed lately is there's a lot of really good women out there who want what she had - a guy who would not cheat, who wouldn't put her down, who does the housework, cooking, and shopping, and does a good job at those things, and who constantly did things to show her he loves her. I feel bad for these women. When a guy like me goes through what I did with a woman like my kid's mom, it's really hard for them to want to put out the effort again. When you keep kicking a dog, it's going to wince, expecting another kick every time they see feet. It's so frustrating.
I went to the gas station today so the kids could get candy, but they opted to dig through the ice cream bin rather than the candy aisle. I love the ice cream bin at the gas station. It's full of inexpensive goodies, and it's a veritable treasure trove to young kids. When I was a kid, I used to dig through and make sure that I'd tried every variety at least once - every time they got a new kind in, I had to have it.
There's an ice cream truck that comes around the neighborhood, but I don't usually let the kids get anything off of it. It's high priced, and there's just something about buying food off a truck that puts me off. It reminds me of the roach coach that used to come around when I was working at the golf course in Florida. That stuff always made me sick. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with the ice cream on the truck, but I'm definately not going to be a regular customer. Especially when a single orange creamsicle is 2.50, and I can drive to the store to pick up a 24 pack for 2 - 3 dollars. There's just no sense in buying it regularly. Sparsing it out makes it more fun when I do let them get something off it. (It's not a Good Humor truck driving around. If it was, I'd let them buy just about every time.)
I've got an appointment at the college tomorrow morning, so I have to get up early. I hope the kids don't give me any issues about going to bed tonight. The past couple nights, they've both been pretty bad about it. I put them in bed, they're quiet for about 10 minutes, then they're jumping on the beds and climbing the walls (literally) like Peter Parker post-spider bite. I explained the situation to them (my parenting style is about instruction, not discipline - discipline only carries over so far as you have a threat hanging over your head, while learning carries on permanently through self-motivation), so hopefully they'll be copacetic.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Whew, what a hot day!
Today's been a real scorcher. I've been outside most of the day, mowing the lawn, playing with the kids in the pool, and weeding the garden. Oh yeah, and I laid on the deck for a bit to tan. It was so hot while I was tanning that I was just pouring sweat.
Riene and Bear think it's funny to smack my back and leave handprints when I'm sweating. So as I was laying there, those two kept pounding on my back. It's like a shiatsu, but a lot less fun.
We went to Food Lion and Dollar General today. I just needed to pick up milk and waffles, but the kids love browsing the dollar stores. (Duh, there's toys there.) And, they both ended up walking out with more toys. Bear got himself another spiderman, and Riene picked out a pretty cool water cannon. (I told Ree not to spray me, she did anyways. Go figure!)
I'm going to try something new for dinner. You know how when you make a meatloaf, the best thing about it are the sandwiches you have for leftovers? I'm going to skip the middleman and just make meatloaf burgers and cook them on the grill. Should be pretty tasty.
Oh yes, while I was at Food Lion I was scoping out the ice cream section. It's a bad idea to go to the store hungry, and even worse, to go buy groceries while you're hungry and on a diet. I found triple-chocolate Breyer's ice cream there with no sugar added. It's only 100 calories per 1/2 cup! That's even better than the frozen yogurt I'd picked up from walmart earlier in the month.
My kids keep getting on me about getting them a bunch of fireworks for the 4th. I'm not against buying fireworks, I'm just short on cash. I love to put on a nice show for them, but this year I'm not going to be able to afford more than $30 or so. Hopefully this year I find some nice fountains and not the cheap artillery rounds that look like they're fountains. With some of those package deals, you never know what you're really getting until you set it on fire.
Riene and Bear think it's funny to smack my back and leave handprints when I'm sweating. So as I was laying there, those two kept pounding on my back. It's like a shiatsu, but a lot less fun.
We went to Food Lion and Dollar General today. I just needed to pick up milk and waffles, but the kids love browsing the dollar stores. (Duh, there's toys there.) And, they both ended up walking out with more toys. Bear got himself another spiderman, and Riene picked out a pretty cool water cannon. (I told Ree not to spray me, she did anyways. Go figure!)
I'm going to try something new for dinner. You know how when you make a meatloaf, the best thing about it are the sandwiches you have for leftovers? I'm going to skip the middleman and just make meatloaf burgers and cook them on the grill. Should be pretty tasty.
Oh yes, while I was at Food Lion I was scoping out the ice cream section. It's a bad idea to go to the store hungry, and even worse, to go buy groceries while you're hungry and on a diet. I found triple-chocolate Breyer's ice cream there with no sugar added. It's only 100 calories per 1/2 cup! That's even better than the frozen yogurt I'd picked up from walmart earlier in the month.
My kids keep getting on me about getting them a bunch of fireworks for the 4th. I'm not against buying fireworks, I'm just short on cash. I love to put on a nice show for them, but this year I'm not going to be able to afford more than $30 or so. Hopefully this year I find some nice fountains and not the cheap artillery rounds that look like they're fountains. With some of those package deals, you never know what you're really getting until you set it on fire.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Fried Squash&Zucchini
I went digging through my garden today to see if I had anything else ripe. Low and behold, I saw a pair of massive yellow crooknecks and another pair of huge zuccini staring back at me. I've been getting 10-15 squash a week off these plants, which I either share with the neighbors or chop up and freeze.
Tonight, I decided I'd fry up some of these 4 for my kids, then boil the rest for myself. I usually do the spices a bit different every time in the flour mix, and tonight was no different. I used:
2 cups flour
2 tbsp onion powder
2 tbsp garlic powder
1 tbsp salt
2 tbsp ground black pepper
2 tbsp marjoram
2 tbsp celery seed
2 tbsp coriander
2 tbsp oregano
2 tbsp basil
1 tbsp thyme
I thick-slice the frying pieces, drop them into the flour, then let them dry. After they're dry, I drop them into an egg/milk bath, then re-coat with flour. This gives them a really nice, crunchy exterior and lots of room for the herbs to stick. I also only fry them enough for the batter to get crunchy - overcooking squash or eggplant in the frying pan leaves them all mushy.
On the topic of mushy, its been my experience that yellow squash goes goopy way, way faster than zucchini does, regardless of how you cook it. The zucchini will usually stay pretty crisp unless it's severely overcooked, and I like a bit of crunch to my veggies.
I fried up 20ish slices the size of my palm. In the time it took me to write this far, Bear has already eaten 11 of them. At least he's eating his veggies!
Another thing I did today was go and clean the ceiling fans in the house. That's one of the worst kinds of cleaning in my opinion - no matter how you go about it, you end up spreading the mess everywhere. Use a broom and the dust goes flying. Use a vacuum and the dust goes flying. Use a sponge and you end up with a nice brown dust gravy dripping onto your head and running down your arm. You can't win for trying on these things. If someone invents a self-cleaning ceiling fan, I'm totally buying it.
Tonight, I decided I'd fry up some of these 4 for my kids, then boil the rest for myself. I usually do the spices a bit different every time in the flour mix, and tonight was no different. I used:
2 cups flour
2 tbsp onion powder
2 tbsp garlic powder
1 tbsp salt
2 tbsp ground black pepper
2 tbsp marjoram
2 tbsp celery seed
2 tbsp coriander
2 tbsp oregano
2 tbsp basil
1 tbsp thyme
I thick-slice the frying pieces, drop them into the flour, then let them dry. After they're dry, I drop them into an egg/milk bath, then re-coat with flour. This gives them a really nice, crunchy exterior and lots of room for the herbs to stick. I also only fry them enough for the batter to get crunchy - overcooking squash or eggplant in the frying pan leaves them all mushy.
On the topic of mushy, its been my experience that yellow squash goes goopy way, way faster than zucchini does, regardless of how you cook it. The zucchini will usually stay pretty crisp unless it's severely overcooked, and I like a bit of crunch to my veggies.
I fried up 20ish slices the size of my palm. In the time it took me to write this far, Bear has already eaten 11 of them. At least he's eating his veggies!
Another thing I did today was go and clean the ceiling fans in the house. That's one of the worst kinds of cleaning in my opinion - no matter how you go about it, you end up spreading the mess everywhere. Use a broom and the dust goes flying. Use a vacuum and the dust goes flying. Use a sponge and you end up with a nice brown dust gravy dripping onto your head and running down your arm. You can't win for trying on these things. If someone invents a self-cleaning ceiling fan, I'm totally buying it.
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