Yesterday was pretty busy. I wasn't able to get on here to post due to that and isp problems. I'm guessing it was because of the storm - it was raining pretty hard here, and we had quite a bit of a lightning show.
Bear had an infected cut on his thumb, right next to the nail. It looked like it hurt pretty bad, but I got it cleaned up nicely. I've been washing it out with peroxide, then putting on neosporin and a bandaid. If it isn't cleared up tomorrow, I'll take him to his pediatrician.
I had to bribe him so he'd sit still and let me clean it. So, I ended up taking both kids to walmart and letting them pick out toys again. Bear got another spiderman toy, and Riene picked out a remote-controlled escalade. Bear got so excited when he saw her driving it around the kitchen floor that he wanted a turn too, but Riene didn't want to share. I had to remind her about why it's important to share. I told her about how Bear shares his candy and things with her, and how I share my computer with both of them. She came up with some examples of how people share with her on her own after that, then she was pretty willing to let Bear play with it.
I took the kids to see Toy Story 3. Bear was really good this time, he didn't run around at all during the movie. When I typically take him to a movie theater, he wants to run around and play rather than sit and watch the movie. I know he'll grow out of it more as he gets older, and when he's really interested in what's on the screen.
Today's been one of those days where the kids are moping and telling me how much they miss their mom. It makes me sad to see them like this. I really don't know what I'm supposed to do about that. I can't make her be a good mom. I can't make her be there for the kids. If she'd rather be out dating different guys and partying than being a parent, it's her choice. But I really don't understand how a woman can have kids, then just dump them and go off to find happiness. How can a mother be happy when she doesn't even see her young children? It doesn't seem possible to me.
What am I supposed to tell them to console them? I can't let her come back. I won't put myself or the kids through that again. I won't devote myself to a woman who cheats on me and attacks me. I'm too old for that. At the same time, I can't say, "Sorry guys, your mom's a skank who doesn't care about anyone but herself." How am I supposed to make them feel better? It's why I try to keep them busy, so they're not focusing on the fact that the woman who gave birth to them is so apparently unconcerned about them. I couldn't be apart from them like that; I'd chew my way through a concrete wall to get back to them if I had to. But that's just how I am.
The thing that I've noticed lately is there's a lot of really good women out there who want what she had - a guy who would not cheat, who wouldn't put her down, who does the housework, cooking, and shopping, and does a good job at those things, and who constantly did things to show her he loves her. I feel bad for these women. When a guy like me goes through what I did with a woman like my kid's mom, it's really hard for them to want to put out the effort again. When you keep kicking a dog, it's going to wince, expecting another kick every time they see feet. It's so frustrating.
I went to the gas station today so the kids could get candy, but they opted to dig through the ice cream bin rather than the candy aisle. I love the ice cream bin at the gas station. It's full of inexpensive goodies, and it's a veritable treasure trove to young kids. When I was a kid, I used to dig through and make sure that I'd tried every variety at least once - every time they got a new kind in, I had to have it.
There's an ice cream truck that comes around the neighborhood, but I don't usually let the kids get anything off of it. It's high priced, and there's just something about buying food off a truck that puts me off. It reminds me of the roach coach that used to come around when I was working at the golf course in Florida. That stuff always made me sick. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with the ice cream on the truck, but I'm definately not going to be a regular customer. Especially when a single orange creamsicle is 2.50, and I can drive to the store to pick up a 24 pack for 2 - 3 dollars. There's just no sense in buying it regularly. Sparsing it out makes it more fun when I do let them get something off it. (It's not a Good Humor truck driving around. If it was, I'd let them buy just about every time.)
I've got an appointment at the college tomorrow morning, so I have to get up early. I hope the kids don't give me any issues about going to bed tonight. The past couple nights, they've both been pretty bad about it. I put them in bed, they're quiet for about 10 minutes, then they're jumping on the beds and climbing the walls (literally) like Peter Parker post-spider bite. I explained the situation to them (my parenting style is about instruction, not discipline - discipline only carries over so far as you have a threat hanging over your head, while learning carries on permanently through self-motivation), so hopefully they'll be copacetic.
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